Local birdwatcher discovers squirrels.
Local gym teacher admits he didn’t know dodgeball had rules.
Local math teacher believes his numerical ability stems from enchanted necklace adorned with severed fingers of former Mathletes.
Local dog resting up for afternoon nap.
Kindly local butcher massages cows to death.
After furious battles, local man cedes nostrils to nose hairs, hopes to keep ear territory.
Local dog dreams about sleeping.
Local tongue discovers new way to make man look ugly.
Local cow tolerates fool.
Local hat inspector really behind.
Local sweater refuses to be sole source of warmth for local out of shape mouth breather.
Local barista refuses to explain the purpose of foamy milk in sultry voice.
Local performance artist takes vacation, praised for best work since he was out of town for three days in 2006.
Local Failed necromancer becomes taxidermist.
Local dog has wonderful dream where all cats are kept on leashes. Before they get turned into dog food.
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